Memo From a Kid

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When I was a Kid…. Oh what a time it was. I would get up early on a summer morning with nothing to do. I had more toys to play with than all the kids on the block I lived on.

But I still went out to the  kitchen and  complained . “Mom, I’m bored, what should I do?” She  would say. “Well, eat your breakfast, get dressed and go outside to play.” was her reply. “But it’s too hot outside!” I  whined.

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Well, when I was a kid, you were expected to be outside all day long in the hot sun. We didn’t even have a cell phone for mom to check up on us when I went out to play when I was a kid.

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When I was a kid, I wondered when i blew a kiss, if it reached its destination. Now, I still blow a second quiet kiss- willing it to go the distance.

When I was a kid, I waited for mommy or daddy to kiss me goodnight, to tuck me into bed. Now I help them to shut off the light and get to bed.

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When I was a kid, I once wrote on the wall the word ‘CAT’, and then blamed it on my three year old sister. Now, I help my brother and sister write on things with chalk- to make a crazy and pretty pictures.

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When I was a kidI grew excited to hear my Grandmother’s stories, she had special ones for each of us. Now, I ask my Gram to repeat those stories on occasions- when the younger ones aren’t keeping her busy.

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When I was a kid, my cousins were my best friends, two in-particular. Now, I have too many friends to keep up with-
and I miss my best friends.

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When I was a kid, I fell asleep to the rhythm of a back-rub, my Grandparents knew just how to give  me. Now, I quietly day- dream myself to sleep-creating my own imaginative stories. 

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When I was a kid,  I couldn’t understand why teenagers got so caught up in friends and activities, I thought they must hate being at home.

Now, I survive from filling my schedule so full I barely have time to breathe- but all the while all I want is to be home.

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When I was a kid, Home was with the sweet melodies of  family bliss, Where people knew you best. Now, Home is in my heart- with the people that I love and the things that I miss.
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Gee I loved being a kid. Living for the moment, laughing for the sheer joy of doing so, letting my imagination run wild, not trying to be someone I wasn’t, saying “yes I can do that” to everything I wanted to try, even if I wasn’t any good at it. I didn’t have to worry about getting a job, a relationship, or pay off a mortgage.

Nor did I realize that, while I was playing, I was also learning all the basics of life – how to talk, read, write, make my arms, legs and eyes work together, play by the rules that my friends and I made up on the spot and – best of all – negotiation skills, learned by convincing my parents to buy sweets and toys.

Problems were resolved by a motherly kiss or going without dessert. Those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end.

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- Memo From a  Kid

But they did.Life became serious. Parents, friends and teachers carefully taught me what I had to do to succeed in the harsh world of reality. Having fun became a waste of time that could be much more usefully put into earning serious money.

I was told to forget silly kid stuff, like jumping, drawing, singing, acting and doing roly-polies down a grassy hill. Instead, look around at what the adults are doing… copy them…don’t be different or people will think you’re dumb. Get a real job.

Become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer – anything that makes people look at you in awe. So I did.

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I started taking courses I didn’t want to do. I did degrees that were going to take me somewhere, but got me nowhere. I started getting assessed – for the right school, right friends, right sport, right university, right job, right partner…the right path to whatever other people told me would take me down that glorious road to success, fulfillment and happiness.

And no, I didn’t always get chosen. I often wasn’t good enough, qualified enough, wealthy enough, talented enough, dressed well enough, intelligent enough, or trained enough.

Then I started to see the light.

What I was getting enough of was stressed, pressured, changed, controlled, confused, uncertain and misguided. The one life I had was slipping by fast. I was reaching each of “the big 0’s” faster and faster. Finally I hit the big 6-0 – when bosses tell you: “you’re too old to work anymore. Go find a nice pasture. Book into God’s waiting room where you can pass the time until you die”.

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That’s when I exploded.

“Enough is enough is enough!!!” It’s time for me to be me – the me I always wanted to be when I was a child.It hit me that life in my 60’s had much in common with life in my childhood. I didn’t have to worry about a job (though I could work if I wanted to), or a mortgage (it was under control) or even a relationship (I was happily married).

I could do anything I felt like doing – even if I wasn’t any good at it. I could become a kid again. And this time it could be even better. I now had the benefit of a lifetime of experiences – good and bad – and even a little money on which to build my childhood dreams, skills, fun, interests and plans.

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So I have become a kid again.

I am free to do as I please, when I want, with whom I want, for as long as I wish and at the pace I like. I don’t have to be good at what I do. I just lose myself in the joy of the moment, laughing for the sheer pleasure of doing so, letting my imagination run wild, being the me I always wanted to be.

I love it. I am learning, growing and blossoming into a truly successful person. I now know happiness is the journey, not the end and life is what you make of it, right this minute.

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You wanna come out and play?








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 Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.

I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”




Ready or Not- It’s Time For Back-to-School

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Are you ready for your first day at school? Are you jumping with  joy at your kids heading back? You know going back is more than new clothes and supplies now comes the part when you have to change the schedule to get them ready.

If we HAVE to send the kids back and face the real world again lets make it awesome.

Back to School Poem. Mommy loves you, my babies! Don’t forget to shut the door on your way out! (Via Cul-de-sac Cool)


Ok Moms it gets crazy when we get our kids ready for Back-to-School. So start with this Challenge  from iMOM and have a wonderful year! Download it for Free now.


(Source iMOM)

First 0f all lets make a calendar to put on the fridge to stay organized this school year.



boyschoolcal(Download One FREE via The Organized Dream)

Next lets get the kids organized with all their new clothes for school.


(via Sheena • Sophistishe)


This Jitter Juice recipe is perfect for the first day of school! Pair it with the fun back to school book, “First Day Jitters.”

(via The Kindergarten Connection)



Make sure your kids make a Cute Little Gift as the new year starts for their teachers.

(via Make Bake Celebrate)

A Must-Have every year are Pictures. Here are a couple of ideas…..



DIY first day of school signs with ruler frame for Pre-K Through Grade 12.

(via Honey and Lime)


A Must…..Grab a Mom’s First Day Back to School Sign Printable Now!

(via Modern Mom Life)



Personalize school supplies with this amazing set of personal school supply labels.

(via Lia Griffith)

YouTube. Diy pencil sharpeners made from old tic tackle containers.


For The Teenagers In Your Life Here Are 16 DIY Locker Storage and Decoration Tips and Tricks Every High School Student Needs.


Here Is a Couple Of Ideas For Magnets For Younger and Older Kids In Your House…..



Bottle Cap Locker Magnets…This is a great way to reuse all those old bottle caps that have been lying around the house and your teen will be ecstatic about these unique locker decorations.


Decorate Back To School Magnets  to hold all those masterpieces and aced tests!

(via Kids Activities Blog)

I use to work in school cafeterias and I enjoyed it so much. Will your kids take lunch or eat in the cafeteria this year?


I use to work in school cafeterias and I enjoyed it so much. Will your kids take lunch or eat in the cafeteria this year? Here Is a month’s worth of lunch box and snack ideas – mix and match!

(via Thirty Handmade Days)


6 Tricks To Get Your Kids Out The Door On Time!

(via GH)

So now that the kids are out of the house, what’s a girl to do? The Jenny Revolution Has Five Things You You Could Do Now that the kids are back in school.












































Shop Beautiful Jewelry From Loveivy

Shop Loveivy's Patent Designed Screw Back Earrings!

For My Review For Loveivy  I Received A Beautiful Children And Teens 14K Yellow Gold 4mm CZ 4-Prong Screw Back Earrings.

They came in this cute bag and box.





These Earrings Features a 4mm Sparkling Cubic Zirconia in a 4-Prong 14k Yellow Gold Setting.
Absolutely Gorgeous!

It is a Timeless Jewelry Gift For Children and Teenagers For Any Occasion.


To introduce you to I have taken from their website the following….

**Loveivy is a dedicated children’s jewelry online retailer. Founded in 2003, we are based in Long Island, New York. Our goal is to provide children and teenagers high-quality fine jewelry and gifts at competitive prices and with the best service.


We believe that jewelry is a special part of a child’s memory, a loved and treasured gift. Our jewelry gifts will bring years of sweet memories to your young loved ones.**

If your daughter has pierced ears, or your toddler would like a necklace or a bracelet to be just like mommy, is the right place to shop.

The Earrings I chose are such High-Quality and my Ganddaughter Adelyn  is so excited to be the model.


They are easy to get on and have a long secure thread. The  backing completely covers the stud, nothing sharp sticks out the back, and they are very secure.


 Whether you’re looking for Baby Jewelry for little ones aged 0 to 2, or Toddler Jewelry, or even Jewelry for a Teenager, you’re going to find plenty of Options available through


Give The Perfect Gift This Year From Loveivy.


  Thank You Loveivy! I Absolutely Love These Earrings, and So Does Adelyn. 

Talk Soon,






Hi there! Thanks for visiting. We’d LOVE for you to hang around! 
Like Us On Facebook,
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 Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.

I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

























Eggs-tra Special Easter Egg Hunts

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Do you love Easter egg hunts? Me Too. If you are hosting an Easter get-together this year with your family, friends, or neighbors, here are some great Easter egg hunt ideas and steps to help you plan a successful hunt!



Easter Egg Hunting began in America when German immigrants brought their Osterhase tradition to Pennsylvania in the 1700s. The festivity soon spread across the nation, and baskets replaced nests. Eventually, the game evolved into a treasure hunt, and the prizes expanded from just hard-boiled eggs to include chocolate, candy, toys and coins. In many families, the Easter Bunny leaves a basket filled with gifts, not just eggs to find.

2661421a1d29d481ac18bcbbd14a7365Jump up and down and shout hip hop hooray!
It’s time to hunt without further delay!
Go out the place where you play in the sun,
that’s where you’ll find all the Easter fun.
Then like you always do, just like is you habit,
put all the pieces together and you get to keep this cute pink chocolate bunny rabbit!
Hoppy Hunting,
The Easter Bunny


 To avoid jealousy and hard feelings at an Easter Egg hunt for your kids or grandkids, use the same color eggs for each person. Example… for Todd, pink for Addie, yellow, green and purple for other kids, etc. 

Then take one egg of each color and put the same thing in each.  Continue until all the eggs are filled.  For the hunt, tell each kid what color is theirs and to only pick up eggs of that color. That way everyone has the same amount of eggs and the same amount of “goodies”.  No one gets their feeling hurt.

Leave Tell Tale Prints….. Make bunny footprints near each hidden Easter egg to give the kids some easy hints as to where the eggs are hidden.


You can also try making the footprints out of plain paper or even sprinkle some talcum powder and put a bunny paw print in it with your fingers.


Confetti Eggs

Mix a few of these in with the regular eggs for a fun surprise at the end of the hunt.
See it here on Oh Happy Day.
Personalized Eggs….Older kids often grab all the treats because they are faster at finding eggs and small prizes. In this hunt, each person has to look for a specific color egg or a prize with their initial on it. Letter stickers from a crafts store are easy to stick on and make each egg unique. Not only does this equal out the distribution of candy and gifts but it allows you to give specific treats to kids based on their interests.
Tips: Have fun with what you put in the eggs. Small games, fortunes, pennies, photographs, and special notes are all great alternatives to jelly beans.
The Bunny Treasure Map….In this hunt, the Easter Bunny has left a map to the prizes but the kids will have to put together all of the pieces to find the hiding spot. Draw a map or write a clue on colored card stock or a pre-cut blank puzzle. One side should be brightly colored and the map should be drawn on the back. Cut the map in pieces and hide it around the house. When all the pieces are found, kids must try to assemble the map that will lead them to their Easter basket treat.
Tips: Count how many pieces you have so you’ll know when it is time for the kids to start assembling the puzzle. You can also number each piece so kids know how many pieces they are trying to find.
Golden and Sliver Egg Hunt: Place a golden and a silver egg in a hard to find spot with money in it.
420 golden egg istockphotoSuper Secret Message Egg…..Hide a little message in each egg. It is just like a fortune cookie…only with eggs!
 Easter Egg Eggstravaganza …...Fill each of the eggs with a slip of paper with a task that the finder has to  complete such as a sing “Itsy Bity Spider,” name three fruits that are red, or do a handstand. This is an Easter egg hunt so make them fun. Once the finder does the task, they can pick out a piece of candy or a toy.

Night time Egg Hunt….Kids need to have adults with them and do it in a safe place. Grab a flash light and go on a hunt to find the eggs under the moon and stars. Place glow sticks in the eggs.

“Find Your Name” Egg Hunt….Before the hunt, write each child’s name on an egg. The child that finds the egg with their name on it first wins a prize.
Make sure every last egg is found by tipping off the kids with this cute printable clue cards.
Along with plastic Easter Eggs there are other things you can hide.  You can wrap bigger items in plastic wrap or cellophane and tie with a bow. Some ideas are…
 Chocolate Bunny
 Easter Stuffed Animals: Bunnies, Chicks, LambsBunch-of-Bunnies-coming-out-of-an-Egg-
Jump Ropes and other outside toys
Large Container Bubbles
Action Figures
Crayons with Coloring Book
Socks cute Easter socks fit in the larger eggs and are fun for the kids.
Tattoos – gives the kids something to do.
Gift Certificates – maybe for McDonald’s or your local frozen yogurt shop
Small whistles – if you are brave!
Glow in the dark star stickers for the ceiling
Lego mini building set – spread the pieces over a few eggs
Indoor Hunt….Don’t let a rainy day spoil the Easter Egg Hunt—an inside hunt can be as fun.  Designate which rooms will be part of the hunt.  The difficulty can be based on the age of the kids.  You can even designate rooms for different age groups. You can even designate rooms for different age groups.  For younger kids, hide the eggs in places they are visible.  For older kids and teens, you can really bury those eggs.

Make a More Challenging Egg Hunt……There are several things you can do to make a traditional egg hunt more challenging for older kids.

Find creative places to hide the eggs to give an egg hunt more appeal. If you can, hide the eggs in an unfamiliar location. Hide them in the woods or a park. Pick a place that has a lot of nooks and crannies. Make the hunt boundaries large to increase the places they can be hidden.

These are good idea for groups that also have younger children. The older kids can look for the more complex hiding spots while the younger kids can find easily hidden eggs.

Ice Cream Hunt–Hunting for ice cream?….. In each egg, put ice cream toppings. Some examples could be jelly beans, sprinkles, M&M’s, marshmallows, butterscotch chips, and anything else that would fir in those little plastic refillable eggs are found, each hunter will make their own ice cream in a bag! This works well outside on a nice day. You can google “ice cream in a bag” and get a zillions recipes like this one.
One tip, though, have your baggies made up ahead of time so as soon as the egg hunting is done, the kids can immediately start making their ice cream. You will also want to have gloves or socks handy because the bags get really cold!
Once the ice cream is made, they can add all the toppings to their bag of ice cream!
coins-in-easter-eggEgg Puzzle…..Tell your children the Easter Bunny left them a puzzle, and they have to locate all of the puzzle pieces to find out what the grand finale prize is. To set up the puzzle, on a large sheet of paper, write a message to your children. Then, divide up the paper to look like puzzle pieces and cut out the individual pieces. Hide each piece in an egg. Once the kids have found all the puzzle pieces they can lay them out on the floor to read their special message and find the big prize the Easter Bunny left for them.
Creative Egg Stuffers….Mix it up this year and take the candy out of Easter. Yup, you read that right–ditch the sugar. The kids are already “hopped” up enough on their natural energy anyway. Fill the eggs with fun surprises the children will never expect.
Some Ideas are…..
Movie Tickets
IOU notes (example….One Large Banana Split to make up for all sugar lost on Easter!)
The Easter Challenge……The Easter challenge is a fun party game version of an Easter egg hunt that older children and adults will love. Instead of hiding candy eggs, you would hide small plastic eggs. Inside each egg would be a task that has to be completed.
Sing a song, recite a verse from memory, jump on one foot for  10 seconds, draw a picture, etc. After each task is completed, the child receives another treat for their basket.  Make sure to keep a camera on hand to capture all the fun!
Story Egg Hunt
Create or find an Easter story. (This is a good hunt to include the religious meaning and story of Easter). Print it out and then cut it apart into strips. Number the strips in order and place them in eggs for the hunt. After the hunt – have the hunters sit in a circle and take turns reading the parts of the story form their eggs in orde

 Story Egg Hunt……Create or find an Easter Story. (This is a good hunt to include the religious meaning and story of Easter.)
 Print it out and then cut it apart into strips. Number the strips in order and place them in the eggs for the hunt.  After the hunt–have the hunters sit in a circle and take turns reading the parts of the story from the eggs in order.

Find an organized Easter egg hunt in your area……


Just because a get-together is called an Easter egg hunt does not mean other activities cannot be going on besides the hunt. Plenty of spring activities can be done at Easter. Set up stations of activities that kids can do either by themselves, or have a grown-up rotate in to help their kids. Stations might include:

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The ideas mentioned above not only make the Easter special, but memorable too. In fact, using a bit of creativity, anybody can come up with such fun ideas. So, what are you waiting for?
There are so many ways to make the tradition of an Easter egg hunt fun!

Happy Easter Egg hunting!

Hi there! Thanks for visiting. We’d LOVE for you to hang around! 
Like Us On Facebook,
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 Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.

I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


Home is a Place in Your Heart

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“Where is home? Home is where the heart can laugh without shyness. Home is where the heart’s tears can dry at their own pace.” – Vernon Baker

 What is home? A building with four walls and a roof? Or a place where you grow up among your loving family?  More than the walls and the interiors of a home, it is the spirit of those who reside in and the bonding that makes it a beautiful place to live in.


We’ll always remember our childhood home and the vast memories of the times that shaped us. There, we were molded into who we are today. Our more recent decisions and defining moments are influenced by moments from our childhood. What ever it is, I return to where I grew up time and again.

Although home could represent an exact place or time in our lives, past or present, you will always return home. While your dreams and passions will lift you to new destinations, you will always come back to where you started. If you haven’t, think about and consider it. If not for you, then for your children.

Often translated “Family is where the heart is”, the original proverb identifies that with where there is love and acceptance, is also your home. Your home is wherever or whatever place you long to be—a place where there is no judgment, only solace. This really encompasses home as the place you love most whether it’s with one’s embrace, in your current domain or in your collective memory.

Home is where we can truly be ourselves. Where we don’t have to hide anything about who we are, how we are feeling or what we are thinking. Home is where we can put down the roles that we sometimes play and just let everything go.

{Blurb allows you to make beautiful photo books for any occasion. You can put all of your Instagram Pictures in a Hardbook Cover in less than an Hour.  How about a Facebook Gift for your Best Friend?}

What will you create?

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“Home, the spot of earth supremely blest, A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest” – Robert Montgomery

“The spot of earth supremely blest”. . .what a great description. By gathering with our friends or family, home_is_where_the_heart_is_smalland building up a collection of cherished memories and experiences, we bless the space around our homes. We create a space that is powerful – one that can carry us through anything.

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than any magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.” -Charles Dickens

There is, I think, something magical about home. Whether you are a kid finding the best places to hide your Star Wars collection, or an adult putting the key into the lock after a long day, there is something about coming home that is somewhat magical. You walk in the door and things feel a little bit lighter. You settle into your favorite chair for the night and your home embraces you; it makes you feel supported, taken care of, and at peace.

Home to us is a place that we can come back to and feel safe, secure and loved.
It’s a place where friends are always welcome.
It’s kids artwork hanging on the walls and school notes on the fridge.
It’s laughter and squealing. It’s intimate chats as secrets are shared.
It’s comfortable.

Home is a tiny word but a powerful one and one so rich in meaning.  It is more than a physical place it is is an idea, a feeling, a vision.  It is something that we carry with us as we journey through life; it is not just something that we seek.


HomeIsWhereTheHeartIsThere’s No Place Like Home by by Jennifer Dukes Lee

Mom and Dad are moving.

There. I said it.

After 42 years, my parents are leaving the 110-year-old, three-story house that served as the backdrop for my growing-up life – a silent witness to my first teetering steps, first fumbling prayers, first teenage crushes. I remember standing at the top of those wide wooden stairs at age five, in pajamas on Christmas morning; at age 18, with a mortar board bobby-pinned to my hair; at 23, dressed in white satin.

The old place knew all of my first loves because their pictures were taped to the walls: Scott Baio, Michael Jackson, Donny Osmond … and E.T.

It also knew every misdeed: the time my brother John and I decapitated the Barbies and hid them behind the radiator; Christmas Eve of 1975 when I devoured a whole plateful of Spritz cookies in the pantry; when my sisters and I composed typewritten letters by a ghost named The Draft – we slipped the notes under the bedroom door of our brother, who was convinced that a specter haunted the darkened hallways of our home.


In that old house on West Athens Street – where lilacs blossomed every spring and mums bloomed every fall – I learned what it meant to laugh and love and live as family.

And now, I’m trying to figure out how to say goodbye.

That house and I were playmates, and we knew each other’s secrets. The wooden banister was my first slide. Dad in his recliner, my first see-saw. The basement storeroom, my first roller-rink. On summer afternoons, I shimmied up the evergreen spires to climb onto the roof of a friend. Up there, sprawled out on her gigantic shingled lap, I would stare at the sky and daydream. She never seemed to mind if I didn’t feel like talking.

This morning, I pick up the phone to dial the numbers that connect me to home, digits I memorized back in preschool. It hits me: By June, I’ll never again dial that phone number.

Mom answers on the third ring with a sunny hello. She recites the list of things to sell, to give away, to box up. Even if her four grown children aren’t ready, she is. Or, at least, it sounds like she’s ready. I hear the resolve in her voice. Then again, I wonder if she hears the same thing in my voice – cheery and affirming – when she reminds me that the movers will come soon.

And just like that, our life stage will be emptied of its props and actors.

We’re 100 miles apart, Mom and I, but if I squint the mind’s eye, I can see her standing in the laundry room. Her bare feet are anchored, almost seamlessly, to that cool, cracked cement floor. The house has become such a part of our family that I can barely distinguish the structure from the inhabitants.

HM016-mThe house feels like a second skin. I know every wrinkle, bruise, scar and age-spot. I even know the bones that creak loudest – third stair from the top. I knew to skip that step when I came home past curfew.

We were tight, that old house and I. Look at that, would you? I’m already talking about her in the past-tense.

But it’s time. It really is. Mom and Dad are in their 70s, and old knees fare better with one-level living.

Still. Goodbyes are hard, aren’t they?

In the home where I live now, we’re passing a legacy of rootedness to my own children. When we built this house nine years ago, we made room for a built-in bench by the kitchen table – just like the bench on which I ate every meal growing up. We also installed a stained-glass window, a replica of the one that stretches across the wall back home.

In this house – my house – I set a wooden plaque on the laundry-room windowsill that reads: “My home isn’t a place. It’s people.”

I get that. I really do. But I’m still going to grieve a while longer. For I’m going to miss that splendidly creaky home that will always whisper bits of our life-story in every cobwebbed corner.

“Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes.”

Maxwells Attic


 In Chris Daughtry’s Home  “…I’m going to a place where love and feeling good don’t ever cost a thing … Im going home back to a place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me … ” Even after succeeding in his dream (and getting more than he wished for), there is no place where he can substitute the love he identified with where you know people who will always believe in you.


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What does the phrase home is where the heart is mean………………….

Your true home is with the person or the place you love the most
It mean it’s where your life is…. That’s where the love is. the home is usually where you base your life from…. and your body runs centrally from you heart.
It means that one might go to work, to lunch, to dinner, to a movie or play, to parties,  to a fine restaurant, but that when all that is over, your own home is where your love, activities, best things you have–all these things are where your heart is.

Our homes are a reflection of who we are.
They are one huge canvas that each of us chooses how to decorate.
They are our personal space in this huge universe.
They evolve and change just as we do.

We fill them with people and things we treasure and love.
Their walls hold our treasured memories, and so much that we hold dear.
They become our safe havens, our respite from the rest of the world
And that is what I believe makes a house a home.
Trust me, walls do talk !
A home tells a lot about the person living there.

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Maya Angelou

Our Family 2 Yours

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Families and Divorce

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I questioned myself before I touched on this subject of Divorce.  But I have been there and there are probably a lot of issues I could touch on here.  The most important one is for the children involved. 

So you’ve just made one of the hardest decisions of your life: you’re going to get a divorce. It’s always something that comes as a shock, even to the people involved, and is a huge emotional strain, especially after months of trying to fix the marriage. There’s no doubt that you’re going to be overwhelmed both with the emotional aspect of the separation and with sorting out the legal aspects.


Divorce is so hard for everyone but it especially puts a big hole in the lives of children, especially if one parent goes away and never has contact.  So I direct my comments here for children Don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying it is not hard for the parents as well.  But Instead of blaming the other parent, we as parents need to  focus on the future. “You have to take responsibility for yourself and what we can do moving forward, no matter what.”

For obvious reasons, children see divorce as something very traumatic. They are often concerned with their own security, not always with their parent’s happiness.

Children will question:

What if they both leave me?

What is it that I did wrong?

Did I cause the divorce?

Now what’s going to happen to me?

Let’s go over some Children and Divorce Statistics……..

Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage.  Of these, close to half will  also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.

Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. 

 Forty percent of children growing up in America   today are being raised without their fathers.

 Of all children born to married parents this   year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before   they reach their 18th birthday.

What about the children? How do you tell the children that mom and dad will no longer be living together in the same house?

Children are the innocent victims of divorce.  They become the center of battles over child custody, support, and visitation.  Worst of all, the lines are drawn between the two people they love the most – Mom and Dad.

Divorce affects a child in ways that parents don’t always consider.  They face losing the only lifestyle that they’ve ever known.  In it’s place are week-end visits with Dad, living with a stressed out Mom, and having reduced resources for everything they used to do. You can’t change this fact, but you can give your children unconditional love and support to help ease their adjustments.


Telling your parents and in-laws about a pending divorce is one thing. It can be a piece of cake – only because they’re adults and are aware of how unstable unions are these days. But telling the children requires a lot more work. Some of that work can be excruciatingly painful.

Children’s feelings are fragile. Children have fears – two that stand out are the fear of no longer being loved by their parents and that they were responsible for the break-up, and the second fear is a lost sense of security.

When it comes to telling your kids about your divorce, many parents freeze up. Make the conversation a little easier on both yourself and your children by preparing significantly before you sit down to talk.

What I need from my mom and dad: A child’s list of wants

  • I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions. When you don’t stay involved, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
  • Please stop fighting and work  hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
  • I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
  • Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth.
  • When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are expecting me to take your side.
  • Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.

FJOY 728 90 - Families and DivorceWhat causes the differences between children in divorced versus intact families?

The general question of differences between children in different types of families is less important than what causes these differences.  Let’s look at what we know about what causes these differences. One way to think about this is to consider the risks that may cause difficulties for children. These are:

  1. PARENTAL LOSS divorce often results in the loss of contact with one parent and with this loss children also lose the knowledge, skills and resources (emotional, financial, etc.) of that parent. family_split
  2. ECONOMIC LOSS another result of divorce is that children living in single parent families are less likely to have as many economic resources as children living in intact families.
  3. MORE LIFE STRESS divorce often results in many changes in children‘s living situations such as changing schools, child care, homes, etc. Children often also have to make adjustments to changes in relationships with friends and extended family members. These changes create a more stressful environment for children.
  4. POOR PARENTAL ADJUSTMENT generally how children fare in families is due in part to the mental health of the parents, this is likely to be true for children in divorced families as well.
  5. LACK OF PARENTAL COMPETENCEmuch of what happens to children in general is related to the skill of parents in helping them develop. The competence of parents following divorce is likely to have considerable influence on how the children are doing.
  6. EXPOSURE TO CONFLICT BETWEEN PARENTSconflict is frequently part of families and may be especially common in families that have undergone divorce. The degree to which children are exposed to conflict may have substantial effects on children‘s well-being.

Current evidence suggests that the loss of contact with parents, economic difficulties, stress, parental adjustment and competence, and inter-parental conflict all contribute at least to some degree to the difficulties of children. Some new findings shift our attention from major problems to milder but important long-term painful memories and feelings of helplessness.  These feelings can continue well into young adulthood which reminds us that there are many things we can do to help children.

Take a look at A Memo From A Child To A Parent……..remember you both have to be responsible raising these children.

Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for, I’m only testing you.Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.

Impact-of-Divorce-On-ChildrenDon’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in a early stage.

Don’t make me feel smaller then I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big”

Don’t correct me in front of people, if you can help it. I`ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

Don’t be too upset when I say “I hate you”. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate but your power over me.

Don`t take too much notice of my ailments. Sometimes they get me attention I don’t need.

Don`t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by being deaf.

Don`t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That’s why I am not always accurate.

Don`t put me off when I ask questions. If you do you’ll find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

Don`t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

Don`t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.iStock_000009613010XSmall

Don`t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that your neither.

Don`t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.

Don`t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.

Don`t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try to.

Don`t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you that do I?

Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you

Try to make the least amount of changes within the first year as possible. Staying in the same schools and the same house will offer comfort. Try to keep family members of both parents in the lives of your children if they are close. And try to be present as often as possible for your child. You may be divorcing your spouse, but you never divorce your children. Children need many more hugs and more attention during and after the divorce process to continually reassure them.  Parents may also realize that hugs from their children might be just what they need, too.

Parents must be open and accepting to the fact that they and their children are still a family, even if there is not a biological mother and father under one roof after divorce.


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Our child’s life can either be a happy one, full of experiences that will help them and you grow from the ordeal of divorce.  Or, it can be something far less positive if you insist on making your life (and theirs) a constant struggle. Parents need to heal their hearts,  and sometimes that takes feeling sorry for yourself and crying the whole time your children are with the other parent.  Once you get past that grieving phase, however, you need to pick yourself up, lick your wounds and make the best of whatever situation you are left with.

As far as divorce and children are concerned, the most important thing that you can do is to always show your love for them, and truly care about what affects them.  Let them know that they count, and that you will always be there to listen to their problems.  Good Luck!  You and your children will survive the divorce if you work at it.

And last before you say I want a divorce, you need to really think through what you are doing. Many times in marriage, difficulties arise on a daily basis leading to what seems like a never ending problem. Many husbands and wives would beautiful wedding ringsrather call it quit then try and figure out what the problem is.

No matter how badly a person wants a divorce, there are usually feelings of remorse about the failed relationship – especially in cases where couples have been married for many years.

Looking at photographs of memorable occasions and wonderful vacations together, rereading once-cherished love letters, glancing at sentimental memorabilia, all arouse feelings of sadness and loss. 

Frequently, people in the throes of divorcing are too angry and antagonistic to acknowledge these emotions, which lay dormant until the divorce proceedings have ended and the dust has settled. Then even the most zealous divorce seekers often report a sense of failure and personal loss.

Even when the decision to divorce is firm, there is no escaping the sadness.  So, if you’re someone who is thinking about divorce, think twice. No, actually think again and again and again. Solutions to your seemingly unsolvable problems might lie right under your nose.

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This poem expresses the sadness of marriage as it ends….looking back on the happiness that once was.

Last Walk Down Memory Lane

© Melanie Edwards


As we sit here in silence, no longer husband and wife
I can’t forget the vow I made to love you all my life…
Our last walk down memory lane fills my eyes with tears
As I find us walking hand in hand in our high school years.images
I pass through our college life in search of our “Wedding Day”
The happiness and love we felt makes me want to stay…
But up ahead I know the best of us is yet to be
As I see you and our babies waiting there for me.
I hold you all in my arms as our babies start to grow
I feel the future calling me…but I don’t want to go.
The road of our life together is ending here today
Going in different directions, with nothing left to say.
The last walk down memory lane finds us crying and alone
With nothing left but memories of our family and our home.

If you had done everything possible to try and make your marriage work and it still is not, then you should call it quits. Sometimes, two people are not meant to be together and that is okay. It is in the best interest of everyone if some couples split up and go separate ways.  Just make sure you do everything possible before splitting up.

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