We all want our child to be one of life’s winners, don’t we?
Losing is a part of adult life that we seem to have decided as a society is no longer important to teach to our kids. When did we stop teaching winning and losing to our children.
We teach sports with no score, classes with no grades and the theory that everyone is a winner.
This is a false lesson we are teaching our children because in life everyone is not a winner. In life there will always be winners and losers, rich and poor, success and failure.
Not teaching children to lose and to learn from losing will handicap their development in the future and could make them unable to effectively handle losing and failure as adults.
Learning to accept losing and to learn from losing early in life helps children succeed and become well adjusted adults in the future.
Everybody wants to be a winner. Jumping up and down, yelling, clapping hands are all gestures that we do when someone wins or does well. Rewarding success with trophies, money, and gifts are just some ways society celebrates a winner. It’s very normal that most parents want their children to win and be successful.
What is not normal is for children to be pushed in to believing that winning is the only thing that matters and that failure, somehow, is a weakness. Accepting failure is not a weakness. It’s easy to teach and model for a child how to win. However, not everybody can win – there will always be a loser.
Teaching your child how to lose is an important lesson that will stay with them the rest of their lives. Everyday to be effective parents we need to keep helping our children to learn about life. Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be. ~
I asked a public school coach what age schools start teaching winning and losing in sports. He told me high school. I was shocked that by the time children are nearly 14 years old they finally are able to learn about losing.. Since society is not teaching children to lose until their teens, it’s no wonder we have so many poor sports and bad losers in our society. It’s no wonder that a large part of our adult population looks for reasons outside themselves to explain their failures and lack of success.
One of the reasons parents and educators have placed less and less emphasis on teaching winning and losing with children is that for many years we as adults have placed too much importance on winning. We have all been to the little league game with that parent who is far to invested in the result of the game. It is pretty widely known that this overemphasis on winning puts so much pressure on kids to win that all but the best athletes become disinterested in sports all together. Overemphasis on winning and losing can also cause a drop in self esteem in those who do not win.
In any competitive situation, there is always only one winner while many lose. At a time like this a child who is not equipped to handle failure may succumb emotionally to the adverse circumstances in life. As a parent, it is very essential to teach your children to accept failure with grace and dignity. It is cardinal to instill within your children the belief that their failure does not make them lesser or weaker individuals and that they have to face defeat and strive for success again.
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