A marriage is for a lifetime – at least, that is what most people hope it would be when they get into it.
Getting married is the beginning of a wonderful journey. To have a good marriage you need the following……
- 4 cups of love
- 2 cups of patience
- 1 gallon of trust
- 2 cups of flattery (carefully concealed with intelligent choice of words)
- 1 cup of respect (undiluted)
- 2 cups of encouragement
- 1 pinch of respect for in-laws
That’s all that makes for ingredients for a happy marriage recipe.
Note: Make sure that the ingredients are well sifted for jealousy, suspicion and mean words!
Are there some days you wonder, why can’t so-and-so remember to shut the gate into the front yard behind him when he comes home, even though you’ve told him about 800 times? Or maybe he thinks, why does she have to have the gate shut (answer: it completes the safety circle around the house…okay, so he’s not the only one with weird little tics).
So what’s the big, juicy secret to a happy, successful, sexy marriage?
There isn’t one.
Before you get too discouraged, I say there isn’t one, because there are as many secrets to a successful, passionate relationship as there are couples.
One of my favorites came from a story I heard about an old woman who had been happily married many, many years. A young woman asked her what their secret was. The old woman said that when they first married, she allowed herself to write down a list of 10 things her husband did that drove her crazy. She told herself that she would forgive the 10 things and only these 10. So she did that. Whenever he did one of those things, she took a deep breath and let it go. Many years passed, and she lost track of the list she’d written. Which was ultimately a good thing, because now whenever he did anything at all that annoyed her, she took a deep breath and said, “Good thing that’s on the list.”
So what are the keys to a successful marriage?
This may sound a little clichéd, but love is one of the main pillars of a successful, happy and long-lasting marriage. It can often make up for the lack of other near-essential ingredients such as financial wealth, comforts, luxuries, etc. However, a marriage without love will never last. It is the foundation of a relationship upon which all other things are eventually built.
Talk. I know, boring. But talking will get all of the mundane things out of your system and free up space for thinking….other things. If your mind is full of how it’s his turn to do the dishes and how it bugs you that he never is the one to do toothbrushing with the kids, you’ll have no room to remember how funny his jokes are or how he still has a cute butt.
This is one aspect that most wedded couples remain in the dark about, or miss out on. Sure, a marriage is about ‘we’, rather than you and me, but at the same time, it is also about retaining your identity, individuality, and enjoying it with your companion. It is about sharing each other’s interests in a positive way.
Maintaining the Spark
This is another aspect of a successful marriage which unfortunately, remains sidelined or ignored as the days tick by. In the initial few months or couple of years, all is nice and rosy, and there are hardly any dull moments in the relationship. However, as the newness or the shine begins to wear off, the flame slowly but surely, begins to weaken and before you realize it, it gets doused. The trick here is to keep re-inventing yourself as a couple and to reignite the spark or the flame whenever necessary. Infuse a bit of life into your marriage if you find it heading towards a plateau. The graph should always rise, never should it remain lifeless at a plateau, and NEVER should it drop down.
Create Magic Moments – Magic moments are just that. They come from nowhere, are there for a moment, but the memory lingers on. A magic moment can, and should, happen at any time. You probably had many of them in your early days without realizing how special they can become. A magic moment occurs when you and your partner are alone for a moment or two in the same room. A quick hug, a kiss, an ‘I love you’ before the kids return and disturb the moment (often with a ‘get a room’).
Set aside regular couple time. Work, family, financial woes, all have a way of overtaking daily life and eroding the sense of fun that brought you two together in the first place. Bring the fun back – even if you have to schedule it in the calendar once every week. Sharing a physical activity, like a bike ride or a walk around the block, is especially good for lifting your spirits along with your heart rate. Activities like going out for an intimate dinner, staying at home and playing music from your college days, or watching a favorite movie (will help you both remember why you chose each other. If cash is in short supply, trade off babysitting with a friend and plan a picnic in the park. There are 168 hours in a week: make a commitment to devote at least two of those hours to your marriage every week.
Surprise each other. If things start getting to be the same ol’ thing, do something different. In the bedroom, buy new lingerie, role play, use more candles, take your time, think about what you used to do together in the early days, and recreate your favorite scenarios.
Show Respect: Respect is huge and you should show respect to your spouse at all times whether your alone or in public.<
Other Successful Marriage Tips
- Maintain physical intimacy. It plays a very important and significant role in keeping the romance alive. Many a time, sex can be just the spark that your marriage needs!
- Never leave a major fight unresolved and sleep over it, or storm out of the house. It will just hide in the far corner of your mind, multiply quietly like a virus, and resurface at a later point of time causing more damage. Always try and settle your arguments or fights there and then itself.
- Do not take each other for granted. This tends to happen quite regularly as the years pile up. Appreciate every small thing that your partner does for you and express gratitude towards him/her. It will go a long way in strengthening and maintaining the bond between the two of you.
50 Years of Learning
by Dorothy Casper
It was delightful to watch as the friends and relatives gathered in the cultural
hall of the church to congratulate and wish the couple well, whom were celebrating
their 50th wedding anniversary. The room was beautifully decorated with momentous
scenes throughout their lives growing up and later together.
The joyous sound of laughter was heard throughout the room as the guest mingled
throughout and as they enjoyed the delicious buffet. They each had moments to share
that they had had with the honored couple.
As the couple was ushered to two high back king and queen chairs the program began.
Listening, memory served me well, of the past years of my life. The oldest son
began the introduction along with his gratitude to those attending to honor his
parents. A beautiful well-written program included the four children, their mates,
12 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. Posterity, their heirs, I believe it’s
called, were nervous wanting to do the very best for the couple whom they all loved
in different ways and for different reasons.
As I listened I wondered, “what brought this family to this point?” “Did they
have some kind of formula to teach by, to learn from, to have this tremendous
As each child took part there was humor, tears and beautiful talent displayed.
Viewing the esteemed couple one could see their hands entwined as they had done so
much in the past 56 years. Anyone who had known them previously had often seen this
Then the music began and the couple was highlighted in pictures from a very young
age until the present time. The 50′s music set everyone attending tapping their
toes, smiling and many just remembering, their own bygone years.
It was over much too, soon. As the couple was called to the microphone, the
clapping was deafening. The children and grandchildren stood smiling at the couple
who meant so much to them and thinking to themselves, “I want to be just like them
– still holding hands after 56 years – still in love.”
Still holding hands, they approached the microphone together. “Words elude me, and
my heart is so full of joy for my family and for all of you kind friends who came to
wish us well,” she said. Then she introduced each member of the family and it was
obvious she could have said something endearing about each one. He moved a little
closer as he began to speak, expressing his gratitude to the family as well to
everyone attending and then turning to her he gave her a hug and kiss. With his
arms still around her he said, “It’s been a good trip, honey – It’s been a good
Now, as I sit at my computer, I am contemplating just what he meant by… it’s been a
good trip The meaning sinks in – although there were many ups and downs – hardships
– joyous times and sad times as every family has, maybe, just maybe, the answer
lies in continually saying and showing and meaning, “I Love You.” Perhaps that is
the answer for everyone – to care – to love in spite of.
(LovebookOnline.com is a site you can go to and create a personalized book for anyone you want. Every page is a page you create, either from a blank, or from a preset design which you can customize. I spent so much time playing on the site, it is addicting, I warn ya! You can have as many pages as you want, and pick a hard cover or a soft cover, which you can customize. SO COOL!!)
As you can see, a good marriage is indeed hard work, compromise, love and sharing. The foundation may be love, but to have a good marriage you need to consciously keep it alive, and vibrant.
Someone told me at a wedding once that marriage is a garden. It needs plenty of sun, you need to put a fence up around it to keep the critters out, constantly look over it and pull out any weeds you see growing, and give it a lot of time and attention to be sure that things are growing in a healthy way.
How lucky it is for you to find your partner among the millions of people in this world! Some people are not even able to find true love in their lifetime. Do not take unconditional love for granted. Always cherish your partner and show your appreciation. Make it a point to tell your loved one every now and then, something about him/her that you admire or are grateful for. If you think about it, a lifetime is actually limited, so make each day count.
One of the nicest things you can say to your partner, “If I had it to do over again, I’d choose you. Again.” Remember to tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.
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